Video Madness Awards

MTV still knows how to throw a party- or at least Diddy does. His imagination with their budget made way for one of the best VMA's ever. Anyone doubting Diddy's ego problem, had to just witness his intro sequence to put aside any doubt as to whether his narcissistic personality disorder has completely taken over. Filled with pyrotechnics and a cascading waterfall, by the end of the intro I was expecting him to just have a t-shirt saying, "I am the Messiah. Worship Me."



(MC Hammer performs)

This years show had the most performances in VMA history. Everyone got up there. Even MC Hammer did a remixed rendition of "Can't Touch This." My favorite had to be Ludacris. His band was on point; the look was smooth; and the choreography with the Brazilian and African dancers brought it to another level. Kelly Clarkson sounded terrible- like pigs fucking. But that ass... that chick has one of the nicest asses in pop music.



(Green Day memebers Tre Cool, Billie Joe, and Mike Dirnt)

Green Day picked up the most moon-men. Six trophies in total, including the coveted "Video of the Year." I wish My Chemical Romance would've picked up an award, but at least their performance was nice.

I don't know how they're gonna top this year's show. They might have to have the show actually ON the moon. Or have Green Day perform live from the core of the earth. They're gonna have a camera in heaven so when someone thanks God, we can have a reaction shot from the big man himself. Maybe that'll keep the ratings coming in.

Quick Album Review: John Legend B+

John Legend's sophomore album, "Get Lifted," in one word: Smooth. This album goes down easy. After hearing his hit-single "Ordinary People," I knew the guy had talent. But after hearing the whole album, I'm sure of it.

Guys, this one is a sure-fire mood setter for that pretty philly you convinced to come over. Especially track 11, "So High." If she doesn't react favorably to that song, then she's a loser and you should dump her immediately.

This guy is good, maybe even legendary.

So how was Vegas?

It was insane. Easily the funnest trip I've ever taken. And the blurriest. Being drunk for a week isn't as easy as it sounds. Dollar Heinekens helped out though. As soon as we got there, the first item on the agenda was find a liquor store. And especially one that wouldn't rape us because we were clueless tourists. We found a good deal and spent wisely. Well, most of us did. JR wanted to buy a whole bunch of bullshit cordials. We need to get wasted; we don't have time for fruity drinks and elaborate shots. He must think he's a real bartender or something.

The clubs were cool. OPM's look was cool. But the music sucked. JR liked it, go figure. Biggest success from there was all the cool pics we took. Light looked amazing. And the music wasn't half bad. Pure was... it was...painful. It was the longest line that I've ever waited in. Ever. For anything. The hottest clubs around here. Disney rides. The DMV. The Hospital! None of those places ever made me wait for 3 hours! I got to thinking, it better be a fucking carnival in there. I want naked women all over the place. A bowl of rolls. And a line of coke for each patron. Holy shit. I couldn't even enjoy it when I finally got in there at 3 in the morning. It looked good though. Too bad I was too tired to enjoy it.

By my birthday on Sunday night, I was already out of money. We got drunk and took some bars. I hate those things. I got drowsy almost right away and went to sleep. Come to find out, I did a lot that night. Pablo was there the whole time, just ask him... on second thought, don't ask him.

The rest of the trip was fun. A lot of the best memories didn't have anything to do with gambling, shows, or cool casinos. It was the guys I went with. Pablo and JR are my roll dogs for real. It was non-stop laughter the whole week. Whether we were teasing each other or people around us, we were cracking up all day long. I could go anywhere with those guys and have a good time. We need to go somewhere else; especially for Pablo. He needs to get out more. I'll tell yall a quickie:

We settle into the hotel and are getting our liquor out of their bags. We realize that we need some ice to chill the vodka and some mixers. So I told Pablo to get some ice from down the hall.
He says, "How much is it?"
"How much is it? It's free you idiot, haven't you ever been in a hotel before." Amateur.

Where we headed to next guys?

Back From Vegas

Vegas was tight. I'm exhausted. I'll tell you guys all about it laters. I'm gonna take a nap. I should be awake by Saturday.

OnDemand Movie Marathon

Aren't days off of work and school great! The other day I had nothing to do. My finals were finished (passed with flying colors I might add). And I wasn't scheduled for work. So I sat home and watched a couplebunch of movies. I saw Leaving Las Vegas, The Notebook, The Bourne Supremacy, Friday Night Lights, Cellular, Bad Santa, School of Rock, and I Robot. A marathon for real. Since there were so many, here are some quick reviews.

Leaving Las Vegas: I wanted to see this for a few reasons. First, my mind is already in Vegas so anything that brings me there is wanted. And I've been meaning to see Nicholas Cage in this performance (he won a Best-Male Oscar for it).

It's a crazy movie. And Elizabeth Shue is hot, at least when she's not getting beat up. B-

The Notebook: Every chick is crazy about this flick. I just wanted to see what all the hype was about. It's actually pretty good. Not the greatest love story ever told, but if your girlfriend begs you to watch it don't be afraid, it's not all that bad. Just tell them after the movie, "I would do what Noah did, for you." Guaranteed booty son! B+

The Bourne Supremacy: I took so long to watch this because I hated the Bourne Identity. I thought the concept was great, but thought the movie-makers fucked it up big-time. For the sequel a new director was brought in, and I'm glad he did. It was edgier, funner, and more exciting than the first. Jason Bourne's a bad ass and Matt Damon does it right. One thing though, explosions and chase scenes can't hold my attention for an hour and a half. And twisting and turning plots that have no rhyme or reason don't help either. Still fun though. C+

Friday Night Lights: Not that good. The star player gets injured early on, and the movie skews off a bit, then tries to come back at the end. C-

Cellular: Probably the dumbest movie of the bunch. Maybe the dumbest movie I've seen this year. D-

Bad Santa: Very vulgar, crude, sleazy. And godddamn great. What a funny movie. Everyone's comedy is on the ball here: Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac, the midget, and John Ritter. All hilarious. And the movie has a heart underneath the foul language exterior. B+

School of Rock: I doubted if Jack Black could carry a movie. And everyone's that seen this flick knows he can. The guy doesn't need great jokes or clever setups to make us laugh, he just "is" funny.

One thing though, can we stop the good guys not winning at the end. It's gettin a little old. I know its blowback from years of seeing the good guys win, but it's necessary. B-

I, Robot: Will Smith is a star and can carry a movie. Even one with a goofy plot like servant robots coming together and attacking their masters.

One more rant. Hey hollywood screenwriters here's an fyi: The world is not gonna change that much in 20 years. Sure we'll have new technologies and different styles, but it's gonna look pretty much like what it looks like now. Please get past 1954 when we thought there would be flying cars by the year 2000. It's 2005 and I still have a busted towncar with no a/c. Go figure. C+

I Hate Black People

Well maybe it's not that extreme. But I took that Harvard IAT Test, which reveals hidden biases that we might have. My results showed that I have a "moderate automatic preference for 'Whites' over 'Blacks'." Take the test, see how prejudice you are and don't know it yet.

IAT Race Test

(note: there are 14 tests. I took the religion test too. I favor 'Judaism' over 'other religions.' Go figure. Prob cause I think Christians are brain-dead.)