English Motherf*cker, Do You Speak It!

How many times have you wanted to say that to a gas station attendant. I gotta learn how to do this flash animation stuff.

No Mo Scool

The semester has finally wound down. But that don't mean nothin to me. I had to withdraw since I missed so many days from being sick. sad face. So now i have to make up all four classes that I was taking. Meaning I have to stay at that school for an extra semester. whateva.

Summer school starts on the 14th. It's only a month long so I can take that vaca I've been meaning to go on. This year I'm thinking Manhattan again. Or Los Angeles. I might even hit up Chicago again. I'm down for whatever. Any suggestions?

Who's the girl in the picture? Oh, she's just one of the top 10 Sexiest "Women" Alive according to British mag FHM. She's only 17. Americans say CREE-PEEE! But 16 is apparently adulthood in the U.K. I don't think it's creepy. She's just not sexy at all. She's cute. Big difference limeys.

What A Piece Of Ass: Alessandra Ambrosio

The What A Piece Of Ass series has historically gotten better and better in the quality of ass. I'm gonna have a hard time trying to top this one--a really hard time *wink.

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Virginia Tech Massacre

How f-ed up is this story? Today was the deadliest shooting spree in U.S. history. My heart's broken for those families. Everyone's talking about the cause. Is it easy gun laws? Is it the media? The parents? Who gives a s**t what it was!? Right now we should be thinking about all those people in the hospital and the families that'll never be the same after today.

Is this what our country's come down to? Something bad happens and we immediately want to blame somebody. We want someone's head. The shooter killed himself so we can't go after him anymore. So now we want to blame the cops, the administrators and teachers.

I don't know about you, but I see a common thread between our reaction to this story and the Imus controversy. We want someone's head! After anything that goes on in this country someone's got to be blamed and banished.

I'm sure idiots are going to call for an investigation to find out why the cops reacted the way they did. And why the shooter was able to come back and kill in another part of the school while classes were still going on.

I can tell you why; because you're fat ass wasn't there when the bullets were flying! You're sitting there in your comfortable couch watching CNN. And now you want to play Monday-morning quarterback. Just nitpicking every little move that was made. Of course you can see what the best route would've been, NOW THAT IT'S OVER! I wish they could've dropped some of the whiners I've been hearing on the radio off in the middle of the chaos, and just see what they would've done.

Now every group is going to come out of the woodwork to promote their causes. The Christians are going to say it's because the kids didn't have Christ in their lives. The pro-gun people are going to say it's because the students weren't able to protect themselves. The stoners are going to say it's because weed isn't legalized everyone was so stressed. Parasites, all of them.

My heart goes out to everyone affected by this tragedy. And I wish those injured a quick recovery. God speed. story

O'Reilly's Lip Gloss Is Poppin

Sam Keen said the difference between romantic fairy-tale love and real-world true-love is what he calls "the passionate fight." If you really love someone or a group of people or even a cause like global warming; you will fight for it. You will fight with all the fire burning inside of you. Couples that are involved in mature love will fight with each other all the time. The difference between them and bickering juveniles is that they are fighting "for" each other and for what they believe to be the best for the relationship.



Think about that while you watch this video. Some might think these are two hot-heads trying to be tough. But these guys are doing something that you rarely see on tv, they're actually fighting for what they believe. Much props.

Read ***Warning: May Cause Fatigue***

I seriously thought reading was the boringest thing devised. I used to be able to read for a few minutes before I fell asleep. They used to tell me it was the devil that was making me sleepy when I was trying to read the bible. Clever kid I was, I tried to prove them wrong by seeing if I'd fall asleep reading a Playboy magazine. "Why wouldn't Satan want me reading that!?" I thought. I dozed off after five minutes--so much for that theory.

Something must've clicked lately because I can read like a mutha now. I've got a stack of books I snagged from the library that I am about finished with. I've gotten through: Fire in the belly, The book of No, Four Blondes (leave me alone, it was funny), The Likeability Factor, The Selfish Gene (midway through now); all in about two weeks.

I hope this trend stays for a while.

I've had a lot of hobbies in my day. Some of them have been more helpful than others. This one will probably pay off in the future. Now, as for my butter knife juggling, I'm still trying to find some use for that one. Take care

Brown eyes Wide Shut

Imus pissed off black people and women by calling a women's basketball team a bunch of "nappy-headed hoes." Al Sharpton has now called for his resignation.

Silly me, I thought the appropriate response would be, "Who the hell's Imus?" or, even better, "So what."

And why does "nappy-headed" have to necessarily be a black invective? I know a lot of caucazoids with nappy hair. But the "hoe" part is pretty bad. But he's a stupid radio personality, they get paid to say garbage everyday. Btw, have you seen the hair on women's basketball players? Their naps are nappy. They've got to be the most unladylike creatures since the mean thing in The Little Mermaid.

Black people have embraced the victim identity so much that we are happy looking like a bunch of babies to the rest of the world just so we can avoid growing up and taking responsibility for our own failure.

Someone once said when we look back we will find that the twentieth century's greatest mistake was the creation of the "victim." First the blacks, then the Jews, followed by women, gays, and every alternative lifestyle known. I'm starting to get what he's saying. story

Have You Seen This Video?

Alanis Morisette's new video is THE most viewed clip on Youtube. It's apparently a joke/satire/social commentary where she covers The Black_Eyed Peas' "My Humps." She slowed it way down and goofs off in the video.

It's pretty boring, and really corny.

I got pissed though when I saw all the comments. 7000 of them are up as of last check. The things people say really make me wonder about the mental health of our nation.

People are saying things like; "She's a visionary" "Brilliant" "Way to show how North American/Canadian girls are so whatever..." "It's just a joke, people!"

Yea we know it's a joke you f@#$! moron! But it's NOT FUNNY!! I thought that was a requirement of jokes!? That they require some type of HU-MOR.

Okay so she slowed a song down and ragged on it. OMG!?! That's sooooooo brilliant! Somebody get me a damn moon man for MTV, this is solid f**%# gold!!!

IT'S DUMB!!!

I can slow ANY dance song from the past and make it sound like that stupidest thing in the world. Does that mean that they shouldn't have been hits? Does it mean that they were irresponsible in their portrayal of the complex landscape of American culture? OF COURSE NOT! It doesn't mean anything!!

Do they think Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas were giving a personal testimony of reality as they see it? OR were they JUST HAVING FUN!

I know, I'm going to sing the "Thong Song" realllllly slow and show everyone how it portrays the female in a negative light and adds to the ever increasing tumult between the sexes. WooooooowWee! That's brilliant!

In this case Alanis wasn't a visionary; SHE WAS CORRR-NEEEEEE!

Come on Pierre, it's just a joke. It's JUST a joke. It's just a joooooooooke! If I hear another moron say that line as if it exempts people from offering anything of value I'm going to flip my lid. I know it's TRYING to be a joke! I get it. BUT it's not FUNNY!

"She's just kidding." Someone said. Again, looking for exemption.

So you mean to tell me that if someone said, "Your mom is a stinking cunt and I hope she dies tonight while being anally raped with a tire iron." And then follows with, "Oh I'm JUST KIDDING. Come on, don't be mad. IT'S JUST A JOKE!" That should clear them of everything they said right!? "Ohhhh, YOU JUST don't have a sense of humor." I've heard that one too, as if it's supposed to be MY FAULT now that it's not funny!

That phrase doesn't mean anything anymore. And you'd be just as stupid to say something in hopes that "I'm just kidding" or "It's just a joke" will save you.

Alanis, get a life. Why don't you go back to making videos naked on the subway.