Simon Cowell's MY Idol!

Wednesday night was, just as predicted, the biggest night of the year for pop music. Every year there's one evening when America comes together to experience musical greatness. Too bad for the Grammy's that show happened to be American Idol.

Despite the fact that the legendary awards show was jam-packed with great talent and a star-studded audience, not a damn person watched it. According to the latest Nielson ratings, the only demographic that tuned in were the nominees' moms. And to all the winners that thanked God, he wasn't watching. He had Jesus Tivo it for him. He was to busy, like the rest of the planet, watching America's guiltiest pleasure.

American Idol was into Hollywood Hell week. Which is apparently, a weeklong test of talent, nerves, and groveling. Everyone was begging for a second chance. Or giving some lame-ass reason as to why they couldn't sing at their best. Anyway, crazy Dave didn't make it through, but the awkward Rain Main type guy did.

Congrats Kelly Clarkson on winning a couple of trophies. And for everyone giving her shit about not thanking American Idol in her speeches, RELAX. She's trying to separate herself from the show. She doesn't want to be thought of as "that American Idol girl." You don't see Jay-Z thanking the Marcy projects' talent show that got him popular in his hood. Or Sheryl Crow thanking the bums on Santa Monica Boulevard for listening to her play when she had no one else. It's just a means to an end. And American Idol doesn't need the publicity. Especially since twice as many people saw the show that she forgot to mention than saw her not mention it.

Grammy's? Destroyed. Olympics? You're next.

p.s. Bonus: Judging Kelly Clarkson's nip slip. funny