You Betta Get It Girl

Get your pecker off my daughter(!) screams the angry parent. What are they so mad about? The way kids are dancing nowadays. Freak dancing, grinding; most kids just call it dancing.

Some say it's MTV. Some say it's lazy parenting. Whatever the cause, kids are dancing closer and closer to each other every year lately. School boards, PTA's, and community forums are meeting up about it. Parents are outraged. Politicians are being asked to step in. They say it's inappropriate, indecent and shouldn't be allowed. Are they right? Well, let's see.

Why Let Them Freak?

I'm getting a bit older and a bit more conservative but I gotta go with the kids on this one. Granted I would never allow my daughter or son to do it in front of me, but as a general society issue, it does more good than harm. Here's why.

The kids get to express something important in a controlled environment. Let's be honest, 14-17 year old guys aren't getting laid. They're pumped with hormones, zits, and awkward behavior, and have no willing ladies to...well pump out their hormones with. And young girls have their own mix of awkwardness, acne, and hormones with the added fear of not wanting to be thought of as sluts. Solution? The dance floor. Girls can get freaky with no judgment, and guys can get closer to chicks than they've ever been with no need for the suave to "game" anyone. So at that equilibrium we have a meeting of the minds and the genitals. Problem solved.

They aren't all going off to have sex afterwards. After the song is over, it's over. I remember at project graduation dancing hardcore with a girl for like a half-hour thinking we must of made some kind of connection. Ha! She looked at me like I was crazy when I tried to parlay our dance into something more. It is a controlled environment, with social rules and limitations put in place by the participants themselves. If the girls aren't looking to grind, they'll just surround themselves with their girls. The guys might whine a bit, saying, "If you ain't come to dance, take ya ass home." But don't worry about that, their little peepees are just sad. They know the deal.

It all looks much worse than it really is.

What The Parents Are Right About

The only thing I'll give the parents is that it is a bit inappropriate. That kind of intimate grinding really should be happening in private. There's times when two people are practically initiating coitus in front of God and the rest of the world. They're out there pumping as hard as they can. They guy's feeling her up and breathing hard down her neck. Her head's tilted back with her mouth open and her eyes shut. Okay, we might have to break that up at prom. But you normally see that from tacky adults. You probably won't be seeing that at the next Wellington homecoming dance (at least I hope not). But for the most part, we'd rather them do it out in the open instead of alone behind closed doors.

What If We Don't?

We tell the kids not to bang each other. They say okay we'll wait. But we gotta give them something. They have to let it out somehow. Complete repression will just turn them into perverted fools a few years down the line.

That's when we'll get more of the "humiliation" fetishes. Just a bunch of guys and girls that want to be tied up, beaten, spanked, choked, and pissed on for sexual pleasure. Because they will finally be able to dominate the other sex that was off limits to them all their life. Being kept from all sexual contact will eventually express itself in the saddest form.

We have to tough it out to if we want to have sexually healthy kids. Let them get freaky on the dance floor, as much as it pains us to watch some random, sweaty, Jay-Z wanna-be rub his junk on our daughters.