Why?

Girl: I need to talk to you about something.

Guy: Ok What?

I'll tell you later.

Ugh...Just tell me now.

No. I'd rather tell you in person. I'll tell you when I see you tonight.

So why did you bring it up now? You could've just told me later and not have me wonder about what the hell you have to say for the whole afternoon.

What's the big deal?


The big deal is I don't know if you got diagnosed with cancer or if you bought a new pair of Seven jeans. If you want to break up or get married. Maybe you want to confess that you've been cheating on me or that you think I'm cheating on you. This is gonna eat me up all day.

I don't have cancer.

Ughh. Why do I even try.

Wait... cheating?

It was just an example.

Why would you even bring that up?

Ugh goddammit. I was just saying that I have no idea about what you might want to talk about.

Why would cheating even come in your mind? ARE you cheating on me??

I hate my life.



Why do girlfriends torture us like this??????


Our boss once told us that he had an announcement that he was gonna make at the end of the week. Everyone ran around crazy trying to figure it out. They asked me why I didn't care. Maybe it's cause my ex's tortured me so much that I erase what people say now when they tell me I'll find out later.

I haven't been excited about hearing what anyone's had to say since 1999. Thanks girls (sarcasm?).

$4000 Piece of Tail

Stocks closed higher today than they have a LONG time. Something like 400 points.

The news media says stocks are up because of Fed Reserve moves. But those guys have been doing stuff all year and no one's cared, why is everyone all the sudden so excited!?

Why isn't anyone saying the obvious, that investors are happy that holier-than-thou Gov. Eliot Spitzer got pinched for buying high-price hookers. Wall Street hated that bald bastard like poison.

By the way, $4000 for a hooker? That must've been some piece of ass, brother.

Isn't always the ones that are preaching the loudest about ethics that are the worst people?

Like I'm always afraid of the guy that preaches against homosexuality or porn the most. Cause they always got the nastiest stuff hiding in their closets.

Let Me Make A Prediction...

Clinton will do well tonight.

Why? I say because people are talking more about her. Attention breeds votes.

We'll see if I'm right.

Who Is The King of Donkey Kong?

I don't like trying to convince people to watch movies. I find that movies are best appreciated when they are found. And nobody should sit through 2 hours of something they don't like just because it's supposed to be important.

BUT... you should watch 'King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.' It's a documentary about guys trying to conquer the world record for the arcade game Donkey Kong.


Now I know what your probably saying, I said the same thing. Why in the world would I want to watch middle-aged men play Donkey Kong? I'll tell ya. It's all about the filmmaking. Whoever made it, knows what they're doing. And the story is a classic tale of a little guy taking on the big boss superstar champion. It's good.


I'm that sure that everyone in the free-thinkers universe will enjoy it.

A Man Sat Alone

And a man sat alone...
Drenched deep in sadness
And all the animals drew near to him and said:
We do not like to see you so sad
Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it.

The man said I want to have good sight.
The vulture replied: "You shall have mine."
The Man said: "I want to be strong."
The jaguar said: "You shall be strong like me."
The Man said: "I long to know the secrets of the earth."
The serpent replied: "I will show them to you."
And so it went with all the animals.
And when the man had all the gifts they could give; he left.

Then the owl said to the other animals: "Now the man knows much and is able to do many things. Suddenly I am afraid."
The deer said: "The Man has all that he needs.
Now his sadness will stop."

But the owl replied: "No. I saw a hole in the man.
Deep like a hunger he will never fill. It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. He will go on taking and taking. Until one day the world will say: "I am no more and I have nothing left to give."

Get Off The Phone. Your Kids Will Never Forgive You

Heavy cell phone use tied to poorer sperm quality

By Amy Norton
Wed Feb 6, 12:27 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Spending hours on a cell phone each day may affect the quality of a man's sperm, preliminary research suggests.

In a study of 361 men seen at their infertility clinic, researchers at the Cleveland Clinic found an association between the patients' cell phone use and their sperm quality.

On average, the more hours the men spent on their cell phones each day, the lower their sperm count and the greater their percentage of abnormal sperm.

Are We There Yet?

Ah Britney. She's lost it. Dr. Drew says that we might have another Anna Nicole on our hands if we don't do anything. That paps are going to keep following her if we keep watching, and we'll keep watching if the paps keep following her. Vicious cycle that ends when...?

I'm just wondering if we can stop making fun of her now? I know we like seeing rich, successful people fail, but seriously?

Maybe not, just my humble opinion.

The Denzel Debate

Denzel Washington... put the camera DOWN. You can act your ass off, but you can't direct to save your life.

Seriously, the fact that this was a 'black' movie has helped MR. Washington with the critics. They would NEVER give a white director this much praise for directing like that. Terrible over-acting, rushed sequences, murky story development. It was a mess.

Golden Globe nomination for best picture? You've got to be out of your tree-hugging, socialist-loving, white-guilt-riddled minds! The Great Debaters has a few interesting scenes and some decent social commentary. At best, it is a mildly interesting socio-pic (my word; can't nick it).

At least the white guilt wasn't bad enough to warrant a best director nod. Even that would've been too much for those hippies.

Thank You Lord For My Girlfriend That I Am About To Eat

Texas Man Claims God Told Him To Kill Girlfriend

Thank God for Protestantism, huh???? Martin Luther said who do you priests think you are; you can't be the only interpreters of God's revelation. Every man, woman (sometimes), and child should be able to hear from God themselves.

Maybe the priests had a point.


(January 8, 2008)--Friends and family of a 21-year-old who East Texas woman police say was killed and mutilated by her boyfriend tried to put aside the grisly details of her death.

Friends of Jana Shearer continue posting tributes and goodbyes on what appeared to be her MySpace page.

Police say Shearer appeared to have died from blunt trauma to her head. story

What What What!?

Happy New Year! We're Going Into A Recession! Yay!!

What a buzzkill. Not more than a few days after ringing in 2008, the jobs numbers came in today and nobody's doubting a recession anymore.

I was on the bullish side at first, but these numbers are just too obvious that something serious is coming around the corner.

Strap in, it's going to be a rough year. story