Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Girl: I need to talk to you about something.

Guy: Ok What?

I'll tell you later.

Ugh...Just tell me now.

No. I'd rather tell you in person. I'll tell you when I see you tonight.

So why did you bring it up now? You could've just told me later and not have me wonder about what the hell you have to say for the whole afternoon.

What's the big deal?

The big deal is I don't know if you got diagnosed with cancer or if you bought a new pair of Seven jeans. If you want to break up or get married. Maybe you want to confess that you've been cheating on me or that you think I'm cheating on you. This is gonna eat me up all day.

I don't have cancer.

Ughh. Why do I even try.

Wait... cheating?

It was just an example.

Why would you even bring that up?

Ugh goddammit. I was just saying that I have no idea about what you might want to talk about.

Why would cheating even come in your mind? ARE you cheating on me??

I hate my life.

Why do girlfriends torture us like this??????

Our boss once told us that he had an announcement that he was gonna make at the end of the week. Everyone ran around crazy trying to figure it out. They asked me why I didn't care. Maybe it's cause my ex's tortured me so much that I erase what people say now when they tell me I'll find out later.

I haven't been excited about hearing what anyone's had to say since 1999. Thanks girls (sarcasm?).

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

$4000 Piece of Tail

Stocks closed higher today than they have a LONG time. Something like 400 points.

The news media says stocks are up because of Fed Reserve moves. But those guys have been doing stuff all year and no one's cared, why is everyone all the sudden so excited!?

Why isn't anyone saying the obvious, that investors are happy that holier-than-thou Gov. Eliot Spitzer got pinched for buying high-price hookers. Wall Street hated that bald bastard like poison.

By the way, $4000 for a hooker? That must've been some piece of ass, brother.

Isn't always the ones that are preaching the loudest about ethics that are the worst people?

Like I'm always afraid of the guy that preaches against homosexuality or porn the most. Cause they always got the nastiest stuff hiding in their closets.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Let Me Make A Prediction...

Clinton will do well tonight.

Why? I say because people are talking more about her. Attention breeds votes.

We'll see if I'm right.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Who Is The King of Donkey Kong?

I don't like trying to convince people to watch movies. I find that movies are best appreciated when they are found. And nobody should sit through 2 hours of something they don't like just because it's supposed to be important.

BUT... you should watch 'King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.' It's a documentary about guys trying to conquer the world record for the arcade game Donkey Kong.

Now I know what your probably saying, I said the same thing. Why in the world would I want to watch middle-aged men play Donkey Kong? I'll tell ya. It's all about the filmmaking. Whoever made it, knows what they're doing. And the story is a classic tale of a little guy taking on the big boss superstar champion. It's good.

I'm that sure that everyone in the free-thinkers universe will enjoy it.