Thursday, September 27, 2007

TV Land

Am I too tough of a critic? I can't stand 90% of television. I've checked some new shows and will blog more about them soon. I've seen into Kid Nation, Kitchen Nightmares, The Bachelor, Chuck, K-Ville, and Journeyman.

Of course I would've never been able to watch these shows without the new online "full-episode" trend. I don't have dvr anymore so it's the only way to catch any tv.

But back to the aesthetics, tv's pretty terrible nowadays. I hate shows that try to be cool. HATE them. K-ville and Journeyman are real offenders. All slick camera angles and quick-cut editing make me sick. Maybe it's because I learned the behind the scenes ways of making shows like that. It's unnecessary and adds nothing to the show. But it seems like it's the way it's going to be.

So I'm going to try to be more accepting of that style. I'm going to watch a few episodes of the worst of the worst. A show is the cream of the crop of the wanna-be-cool shows. The Peter's Most Wanted Criminal Corn TV suspect; Heroes. Ugggh...I'm cringing as I write, but I will watch at least three episodes from last season. Okay two... I don't want to go crazy and kill someone or anything.

Why am I doing it? Cause I like tv. I love watching new shows. I think the action and drama genres have a lot to offer. And honestly, I don't want to hate them all. And my hatred's getting worse. I used to dig the fingernails of my right hand into my left when I saw corny tv directing. I did it just so I wouldn't scream at the tv. I did it so much that I thought I was going to draw blood.

Now I just yell. And THANK GOD I'm by myself at my house most of the time. If my brother came home when I was watching Heroes, he would've probably called the cops, then an exorcist.
So wish me luck.

One last thing: I used to lose my voice, and people would ask me if I was at a football game. I just said I watching tv. "Oh, so you watched the game on tv and cheered." "No, I was watching CSI."

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Friday Movie Marathon

It rained all day yesterday. Time to stay in and have a marathon. I went to the library and picked up some flicks.

The Godfather

Yes I finally watched it. I've always told people that my generation was stuck in between a lot of great movies. I was to young to see Star Wars. I didn't watch E.T. til I was eighteen. I was like three when it came out! And I never watched the "greatest movie ever made," The Godfather.

I loved it. I kind of new some plot points and thought it would mess it up. But there are like three different climaxes. I loved Sonny, played by James Caan. He reminds me of me at 21. Michael is the man though. He didn't care much about the business until he had to do be a man and take control. He seemed real calm most of the time, but could get crazy any second. And everyone knew it, so they didn't mistake his meekness for weakness.

Another that got me was the old school romance between Michael and the Italian girl. He went and got permission from the dad. And courted her like a man.

Different aspects of the Godfather resonate with each person. The respect theme throughout the movie is what got me. Respect for family. Respect for friends. And most of all, respect for the self. Great movie.

Marie Antoinette

I don't care for Kirsten Dunst, but I like Sofia Coppola. She directed the hell out of Lost In Translation, and she tried her best with this one. Dunst was just so bad. She killed the movie. She's got this lifeless look on her face that is depressing. Obviously Scarlett Johanssen was busy. There's no way Dunst was the first choice. A mannequin would've given them better expressions, and at a cheaper price too.

It definitely had some potential though. Coppola is a great director and I'm sure she'll come up with something else soon.

Iraq In Fragments

Can't resist a documentary. It was calm, but stylish. reserved, and powerful. It's weird to say but it was a chilled out, exciting movie.

I'm glad the director made it stylish. You've seen those docs that want to be soo respectful and serene that they forget they're making a movie for entertainment. This guy stayed true to the art form and the subjects.

What happens in it? Simple, there are three separate stories. We follow a young Iraqi boy in Baghdad who works in his uncle's motorcycle shop. Then we go south and follow an entire city controlled by Shiite extremists. Then up north to a Kurdish farm. Where a boy has to decide to go to school or tend the farm with his dad.

Wisdom from an old Kurdish farmer:

"There are two men wrestling." Someone asks, "Who's side is God on?"
"The winner. God is always on the side of the winner."

Great movie.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

A Little More On The Six

What do the Jena 6 demonstrators want? They say justice. But doesn't that mean keeping the kids in jail?? They committed a crime. At first they were charged with attempted murder. Then the charged was lessened. Now they face the lesser charge of battery. Did they not commit battery? Yes. And now they have to go to court for it.

I saw signs that said free Jena 6. They are freed. Except one who has to hear what he's officially being charged with. That's why he's still in jail! It's called habeus corpus.

They say blacks are standing together. No we aren't. Don't throw me into your gang.

These guys are criminals and should be prosecuted like criminals.

The three neuces have nothing to do with it. That incident happened three months before the attack.

So let me get this straight. Some racist white kids threw neuces up on a tree. And got suspended for it. Then SIX black kids beat up ONE white kid three months later who had nothing to do with it? Yea there's some injustice; for the poor white boy who got his ass kicked just because of the COLOR OF HIS SKIN.

Making a neuce is not a crime. Nor is displaying it. But jumping someone til they're bloody is.

So the real point in all this is that the black boys' feelings were hurt when they saw the neuces.

"Some white people still don't like us." That's what all those demonstrators should be shouting.

How can you force the nation to like you? They don't like you, they don't like you. You got two options: change or get over it. And obviously we aren't changing so I guess we have to just GET OVER IT.

You can't legislate love. I think that's what we as a race don't understand. All we are is just a bunch of red-headed step-children. We never really felt like Americans. And we always felt a little left out. Nobody wants to play with us.

I don't think we need the world to change, I think we need to grow up.

This Week In Black People: Jena 6

Let's just stop trying to figure out the black race. Seriously, I'm going to call my senator and ask him to institute legislation that bans the nation from trying to figure out, appease, or attempt to make the dark brown race happy.

We coloreds have every chance to succeed that our pale-skinned neighbors have. I'm going to school now and haven't had to pay for all of it. I got hired at a insurance office with no other black employees just by batting my pretty lashes. There's only one place that racism still exists.

In private! That's it. And in no more than groups of two. When nabisco shredded wheat crackers talk to each other they trade black jokes. When their crackerette girlfriends talk to each other they lament about how annoying black people are. No harm, no foul. I remember a white girl who didn't know I was listening say to someone, "Oh my god do you have a comb, I have nigger hair today!" Was I mad? Of course I was. But did I have a right to be?? Hmm... you got to think about that one.

It was her damn house I was in. And if she knew I was there she would've never said it. And plus if I was in a black person's house filled with our people and someone said, "Cracker hair." or "White devil skin." Or ANY variation of any white insult no one would care. In fact, here's an exercise for all black people; try to think of one insult that could be said about white people that would offend a group of our own.

Don't bother, it doesn't exist. But imagine if a white person went into work and said to a group of whites, "some nigger cut me off on 95." Okay, maybe the n-word is just to offensive of a word. What if they said, "some black asshole cut me off." Still someone would have a problem with it.

We're the new Jews. White people love making fun of Jews in private. But they know better than to talk some sh*t about them in public.

Stop racism? Haha, stop racism!? When black people stop shooting people, and talking loud in movies racism will end.

It's not the color of our skin or the baggy jeans; it's the chip on the shoulder and disregard for the law that are associated with it that people hate. If black people really wanted to make a change, they'd separate themselves from the violent rap music and the lawless street culture.

And it's happening. That's what's making it possible for blacks to have careers and become successful lawyers, doctors, and CEO's. It's because there seems to be two types of black people. You have the Denzel Washingtons, the Terrence Howards, and the Tyler Perry's on one side. And you have the O.G.'s on the other. Is one MORE black than the other? Of course not, one is just more of what we need now.

Oh I almost forgot. Here's the story that got me thinking of this post. story

Excuse me Madame

Unbridled passion, deception, guilt; can we pack any more themes in one book!? I picked up Madame Bovary after it was mentioned in the movie Little Children. Honestly, I was expecting to be asleep by the end of the first page.

How did I get sucked into a book about romance in the early 18oo's in France? One: it's written well. It went down easy. Obviously credit should go to the translator(originally written in French) who made the book as easy to read as possible while keeping true to what the author, Gustave Flaubert, wanted to convey.

Two: it's relevant. I meet women like the madame every day. You know the type. A bunch of women who are stuck in boring relationships and dream about actually doing something about it. Well this lady acted on it. Actually, she went nuts trying to live the life she wanted.

Three: It's an important novel. If you're into reading, then you'll recognize this book helped start the "literary realism" movement. It is also considered one of the best novels ever written. I don't know about that, but then again I'm not really part of the literati. What the hell do I know. I just know when a book is relevant to me in some way.

We can all see aspects of Madame Bovary in us. How much depends on how stuck or how crazy we are.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Headline: Britney Heard Lard and Clear

That crazy fan is right. Just leave her alone.

Everyone is ragging on Britney Spears after her performance(?) Sunday night at the VMA's. I saw it on Youtube (here). It didn't seem that bad to me. I thought her body looked pretty normal. Yea she used a vocal backing track, but it's not the first time that's been done on the show. Yea her dance moves were pretty bad, but it wasn't that bad.

All the slurring and sloppy choreography just seemed like a little drunkeness. This was her first big performance in a while and she got nervous. She drank a bit to ease her nerves and didn't do great.
Oh well, game over. Hit reset and start again.


People don't forget and she spirals even deeper into depression. To which she'll stop making albums and the endorsements will fade away. The bills will start piling up and she might go fall even further. Dr. Drew says we might have another Anna Nicole on our hands if things don't turn around. Not if her fan base can do something about it.

(editor's note: Headline from The New York Post.)

Saturday, September 08, 2007

J Lo's Back

J Lo's music has been shoved down our throats since her first single. Get ready for another helping, kids! That's right, she's got another terrible album to peddle.

I heard her first single "Do It Well." What a heaping pile of unoriginality that is. You remember earlier this week how I posted about Amy Winehouse? Well Mrs. Lopez is the exact opposite of that. She's the epitome of what's wrong with artistry today. Watching her new video I only heard one thing from her "I need money, please buy the cd!"

It's blatant selflessness. She's almost so proud to be a carbon copy of today's trends that it's almost shocking; almost. Didn't she make a song called "I'm Real?" What happened to that idea? Back then her music was sometimes listenable because it seemed like she had something to say.

The music sounds like everything else out, the video looks like everything else around. Maybe she's hoping that we love and miss her so much that won't notice she's not saying or doing anything new. Haha fat chance.

Maybe the rest of the public will do as me and not pay any more attention to her music. Wouldn't that be great; just a collective, nationwide yawn. A man can only dream.

video - Do It Well

Note on picture: She says she's even changed her pose. haha what a blowhard. She's released Magnum on us. omg!! haha

Headline: High School Star Goes Nude

I saw that headline on a news site with the lede: Nudie pics of 18-year-old "High School Musical" star Vanessa Hudgens have hit the Internet. Will this hurt Disney's empire?

Hurt Disney? No.

The victims are going to be the penises of all the pubescent boys who are going to vigorously scour the internet for the pictures and vigorously masturbate for the next six months straight.

Stuff like this never happened when I grew up. Could you imagine if nude pictures of a young Alyssa Milano came out while we were fantasizing about her on Who's The Boss? Even a naked D.J. Tanner. It would've been game over. Seriously, I'm still asking my johnson for forgiveness for when I first saw Pam Anderson in Barb Wire. Especially the director's cut, with the extended hose scene. I'm so sorry little buddy.

(editor's note: Sorry can't show the nsfw version; my lawyers would have a fit.)

Thursday, September 06, 2007

God's Favorite Game

I noticed that I've never posted about poker. For the amount that I play, you'd think that's all that I'd have on my mind.

I'm considering a new feature titled In Poker And In Life. Where I would discuss the parallels of the two.

For now, I just like playing it. Especially real money games. I get excited when I think about putting my money on the line. There's something very real about it.

I've been playing a lot of tournaments. Mostly just for play but I've been making a transition to real money games. And I've been doing pretty good. I cashed yesterday in a sit-n-go at the kennel club.

I just don't have the finances to play more at the track. So I'll just stick to Full Tilt Poker for now. Maybe I'll see you on there. Look for me. I play as God ShammGod.

You Should Hear This: Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse is my favorite artist as of late. There's only one type of artist I respect; the one that doesn't lie.

She has a great voice and is a true performer. But that's all a backdrop to her unapologetic integrity.

I see strength in her. I get strength from seeing her.


The Fountainhead and My Next Jump

I realized that I was in a coma in 2000. And I've been trying to wake up ever since. I've had some breakthroughs that have opened my eyes. But I've been feeling disoriented for a year. I don't think my eyes were used to seeing yet.

I read Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. Now I'm even more messed up. The good kind of messed up.

You haven't read it? You should.

It's like one of those money machines they used to have in the mall. They were the ones with the dollars flying around in a clear telephone booth sized box. If you go in with just your bare hands you'll pick up a few bucks. But if you went in there with a sticky suit on you'll walk away pretty rich. The book has a treasure of good stuff in it, but if you don't have the tools to pick it up, it'll be a waste of your time.

I've definitely taken a step forward though. I'm auditing my selflessness doctrine. It may not last long under the bright light of my ego.

Another End For Entourage

The Entourage season finale was Sunday. Our favorite Queens crew finished another adventure in Hollywood.

The season started strong. The guys took a big risk and went off to make their dream movie. It was tough but they finished it and took it to the Cannes Film Festival to debut it and hopefully sell to a studio.

So for the grand finale, the movie bombs and they end up selling the movie for $1 to Harvey Weinstein.

What a let down. After that entire season. After following the guys around for ten episodes and four months that's all we get.

My theory is that the writers didn't want to be cliche. They wanted to "break the mold" and have us learn some greater lesson through their loss. It's BS.

Would it be too much for their movie be a huge hit and they get all that they worked for? They risked everything and went broke to make their movie. Is this the message we want to send to the public? Get off your lazy ass and actually do something and you'll probably be a complete failure.

I don't need a dose of reality from my entertainment. Thanks guys, but I get it already. I see crappy reality around me everyday. I want to be able to cheer for the guys and see them win. If I wanted reality I'd watch the news.

You guys aren't breaking any molds. A lot of shows and movies are getting into your ruse. Every sports movie I watch now the good guys lose the big game. Newsflash: you're being cliche by having them lose now.

And maybe grown-ups might be able to pull some greater message from loss. But your crap's even being done in kid's movies now. The good guys lose in every Disney flick now. Now kids can absorb our depressed outlook on life nice and early. Maybe we can kill their dreams before they think of getting up and doing something with their lives. Thanks, assholes.

How about you don't worry about what everyone else thinks and just keep true to your show. These guys are obviously living fantasy lives. They smoke all day and get with Anna Faris at night. So wouldn't it be make sense for them to succeed with the business too? Why are you all the sudden stricken with the guilt of their lifestyles? Have them win and let us be happy for them.

It's a great show. It's just being run by spineless jellyfish armed with growing expense accounts and contempt for integrity. Ari Gold would've fired your asses by now.