Monday, November 27, 2006

Quick Movie Review: Casino Royale

img341/3441/casinoroyaleposterbig21mn2.jpg You can tell from the start that this Bond is different from the rest. He kicks some guy's ass in a bathroom, then drowns him in the sink. At the same time we see him kill off another guy in the smoother, classy-silencer style. When asked if he would like his martini shaken or stirred he snapped back, "Do I look like I give a damn." He didn't seem to give a damn about anything. It was cool to see that side of Bond.

He goes on to action sequence after action sequence. I want to look up how much this movie costed exactly. Buildings crumbling, indoor floods, car chases, construction site chases. They really squeezed a lot of stuff into the pic. And I swear I've never seen anyone run so much. I think they officially brought back the foot chase. And what was up with the first guy he chased!? A human monkey is the only way to describe it. That guy did enough acrobatics to make Jet Li and Jackie Chan embarrassed.

The love interest played by the gorgeous French actress, Eva Green, was nice. She's hot and she had the wit going for her. Her make-up looks ridiculous at first, but just wait for the scene where she's getting ready for the poker game. She has no makeup and looks hot as hell.

The plot got a little too complicated for the kind of movie that it was. And you could've easily took a half-hour out of it and would've never noticed. I was really into it so I didn't mind the time, but I could see how it could be an issue for some ADD people.

Casino Royale introduced the new Bond as we see him acheive his double-o status. I can't wait for the next one. A

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Monday, November 20, 2006

Gym Musings

I've been doing great going to the gym lately. And when I go I notice a lot of stuff. Some good, some bad; but always interesting (of course).

Guys Staring

We all know guys gawk at girls. They've even done studies on it. story But it's multiplied at gyms. Guys stare at EVERYTHING with a pulse. Fat, skinny, tall, short, black, white, green, crippled, everything! They even stare at me. Yes. Not in a gay way or anything; they just stare. It's a blank look. I bet if you hooked their brains up to a cat scan you would see nothing lighting up as they stare around the room. "I see people. People all around me. Look at the people." And forget about when a chick is in decent shape. They will find machines near them and stare until the girl can't ignore them anymore and move to another machine or just give up and leave. Some days when they watch me walk in and head towards the pull-up bars, I want to stop and ask them why the hell are their eyes glued to me. You start think you forgot to put your shorts on, again.

The Music

I forgot my iPod the other day and had to listen to the gym PA musak feed. Who the hell is picking the music at gyms! It was the gayest crap I have ever heard in my life. It was like one long Queer Eye intro. The whole time working out I kept thinking about how my drapes don't match my bed spread. It's the worst techno that you have ever heard. Moral of the story: don't forget your music.

Slow Progress

I know I'm supposed to be patient but, I haven't seen one lick of progress since I've started 3 months ago. I actually got pissed when I saw a guy doing dumbbell bench presses with 100lb weights in each hand. Was I pissed that he could do it and the best I could do were 40 pounders? Nope. I was pissed that he almost looked exactly like me! So you mean to tell me after I bust my ass and workout for a year and can do the heavy weights I'm gonna look like that scrawny bastard. What the hell did I sign up for!? Anybody got some HGH I could shoot into my ass? And everyone always says, "Well you'll be happy when you're forty and start to fill out and everyone else will be fat." Yeah, but now I'm skinnier than an eleven year-old girl scout! My future possible looks won't have any bargaining power with bunnies now. "Baby, there may not be much now, but you'll be glad you stuck with me in twenty years when I fill out."

All in all, you get used to working out and start to feel weird when you don't. So I'll stay faithful. Thin and faithful, PR in a nutshell. A long, skinny nutshell.

Friday, November 10, 2006

My Radio Adventure

I was on the radio today! But I kind of screwed it up though.

They were talking about the Borat movie and the frat guys that filed a lawsuit cause they looked like a bunch of idiots. The host said for anyone that saw the movie to call in and tell him what the guys said since he hadn't seen it yet.

I was stoked and dialed right away. I figured they'd never get to me, or if they did it would be after like a half-hour of waiting. hey answered right away and the screener put me through:

"We have Pierre on the mobile!"
"Uhh...hey guys."
"So Pierre, you saw the movie, tell us what did the guys say?!"
"Umm...they like said a bunch of offensive stuff."
"Wow, I bet! What kind of stuff did they say?"
I totally blanked out. I couldn't remember anything.
"You know...I really don't remember exactly, but uhh..."
"Did they make fun of Jews?"
"Yea, there was some Jewish stuff in there."
"And women?"
"Yea, yea some mean stuff about women."
They realized I didn't know shit.
"So Pierre, this movie has been banned in certain cities. And it only opened in about 800 theaters, why do you think that was? Is there really offensive stuff in there.
Finally, something I knew.
"Well, it was Fox that backtracked with the opening. The movie didn't screen well, so Fox scaled back the opening."
"Okay, because it has done really well in the opening week."
Some co-host, "Yea it opened above every other film."
Dead line.

They didn't even say bye. Anyways, I need to get better on the spot. My heart was pounding and my voice got weak. I was thinking of trying some kind of public speaking course or something. A lot of people who know me don't know that I have real trouble speaking in front of people.

The thing I don't understand is that I used to do it for a living. I used to do door-to-door sales and I had to chat with strangers all day long. I totally lost the vibe. I'll get it back. Holler.

Monday, November 06, 2006

My Hero

I don't know what I would do with out this laptop. I'm sitting in Human Resources Management now and I would blow my brains all over this desk if I didn't have the net to keep me company. Which brings me to what I wanted to talk about: Heroes.

The newest NBC "hit" is gaining a pretty big fan base, and I'm giving it a chance before I bash it. I'm almost done with the second episode and I can't believe how unwatchable the show is. I'll just say the most irritating thing about it, so as to not make this a bitchfest.

The overacting, the overacting, the overacting!! And a new word for me; overwriting. How could you show a studio exec a script like this and get a green light?!?!?!

Chick walks into an art studio. A rough-looking guy is pacing the room frantically.
"Stop it! Get away from me!"
"What?! What's wrong?"
"I can't believe this happened!"
"Can't believe what happened?"
"It just doesn't make sense!?"
"John, what's going on."
"Not what's going on, what's already HAPPENED!"
He shoves a painting in her face
"So, it's just a painting."
"Yea, of a terrorist bombing on a bus in Israel."
" looks pretty good."
He now shoves a newspaper article in her face
"The same terrorist bombing! I made that painting three weeks ago!"
"It's just a coincidence."
"Until you look at the number on the bus."
The camera slowly zooms in on the number in the newspaper as the music gets louder and more dramatic. Then an extreme close-up on her face. And an extreme EXTREME close-up on the painting with the same number.

You would honestly tell me that you wouldn't throw those people out of your office? Or at least order an immediate rewrite with a writer that could turn down the volume just a bit. We can't make it a little more subtle.

Heroes fans, when you watch this weeks episode pay attention to a few things for me. I haven't seen it but I already know a few things that you'll see. The most obvious one will be one character in the midst of some hurried activity like the example above. And there will be someone trying to tell them something. They will ignore the person and keep doing whatever they're in the middle of until the other character makes some activity altering statement. It'll go something like this.

"John, I have to tell you something."
"I don't know what to do."
"John, listen to me."
"That weird event that just happened to me is unexplainable"
"John! I turned on the tv today from my couch!"
"So...that happens all the time. There are more serious things happening in the world."
Cue the dramatic overture!!!!!

I could easily fill this web page with the problems with the show; the uber serious narration, the pretentiousness, the acting, the directing, even the lighting sucks!