Monday, October 22, 2007

The Day I Stomped My Own Flesh And Blood

Did I ever tell you about the time when me and 15 other guys beat my brother up in the middle of Clematis? And found out that cops aren't as understanding as we first think?

When I was about 18 me and a bunch of guys that I knew were hanging out on a Thursday night. We were bored and broke. Which is the worst possible combination for guys, btw. We always come up with bad ideas. I wish the Medical Census Bureau could do a study on how much property damage and bodily injury is caused by guys with no money and nothing to do.

So we started talking about going to Clematis. But no one wanted to just walk around and watch everyone else spend money and have a good time. Somehow we got to talking about fights, and how crazy it would be if someone got jumped. How would the crowd react? Would other guys jump in and try to save the person? So I said why don't we stage a fight? Everyone's eyes lit up. Especially my brother Joel. He was all for it. So he got picked as the innocent victim. Actually, I think he nominated himself.

We plotted the thing out like we were filming a scene for the next summer blockbuster. We started drawing shapes in the sand like the guys from Heat. We would start the chase on the north end of Clematis. The victim will go down in the busiest part of the street. We would beat him down and escape through the east and west ends.

We get to our station and my brother circles around the block to get to his. By this point we are so pumped. The adrenaline is flowing and the fifteen of us were walking like we really wanted to kill someone. People already started looking at us weird.

I didn't see Joel yet. I thought he might've picked the wrong street. But then my cousin Serge screams out, "There he is! Get him!!" My brother screams. We scream. And the entire street stops. We're running and screaming as fast and as loud as we can. The commotion worked perfectly; everyone turned around to see what was going on. Random guys started running behind us to catch up to the action.

We ran and ran but couldn't catch him. He was too fast! Finally, my cousin grabbed him and threw him to the floor. We surrounded him and starting doing the kicking motion. Maybe our adrenaline was going to high at that point because we really started roughing him up. He was squirming in the middle like a raccoon caught in a trap.

Someone yelled out, "The COPS!" There were three of them. I think we can out run them, but damn we didn't think one of them would be on a bike! We started running for our lives. But no one remembered the right exit plan. So we were bumping into each other and scattering like a bunch of idiots.

The cops grabbed as many of us as they could. And oddly enough, the first person they handcuffed was my brother. And as if he wasn't beat up enough, they pinned him to the wall then pushed him down to sit on the curb.

The rest of us were scotch free. We would just go to the car and meet up with them later. But we couldn't abandon the fallen soldiers. After debating, we went back and told the cops that we were just playing. The cops looked at us like we were crazy. I guess we didn't really think out the negotiation plan. We pleaded with them, but they weren't hearing it. I saw our boys in cuffs and kept on talking. I thought one of our guys was gonna cry. The look he gave me said please don't let them take me to jail, please!

The cops finally let them go. We were happy with the results, but it was just a little too crazy for us. I don't think Joel felt the same way though, I think he wanted to go try it out at Cityplace.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Entering The Fourth Quarter

The new year will be upon us soon. When you look back on your year what will you say? Will you be happy with your actions? Disappointed at your failures? Or will you be disappointed at your failure to act?

You will be one year older and hopefully one year wiser. Another year of fighting the good fight to make your dreams come true. What have you learned so far? What do you have left to learn? A wise man once said, "Life is willing to teach if your willing to listen." You've been given chances to learn new lessons every day of your existence. Did you catch them?

Words from an old soul:

"I used to look at my advancing age as an impending doom. As each day passed, the light of my life became dimmer. I would lie in my bed at night and welcome a terrible thought: what if this was my last day?"

"I had to wake from that nightmare. Life wasn't ending, it was waiting to begin. Each day offered another chance to live. I accepted the offer. God gave me all the tools I needed. I couldn't ignore them any longer. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and made this life the best one I knew how."

What tools have you been given? Will you show the world what you're made of? Or will you be another forgetful tombstone. How far down does your strength go? Is there anything valuable growing way down deep on the inside of your being?

Are you still looking for handouts? Are you waiting for someone to give you a chance or are you making paths where none were?

All we're going to remember of you is what you've created. And each year you have a chance to add more to your legacy. What did you do this year that you're proud of? What did you create? You still have time. You think you got what it takes? Fine. Prove it. No, not to me... to your self.

Monday, October 15, 2007

College Football And The Power Of Suggestion

This season has been unprecedented. This many top schools have never went down so hard. The unbeatable Trojans got whipped. LSU went down. Oklahoma and Texas didn't escape. Florida got turned to gator meat (twice haha). And it's all for one reason and one reason only: the power of suggestion. The Appalachian State miracle changed the season and maybe college football for the next decade.

Psychologists have long since proved that suggesting different things to people affected the subjects' perceptions, memories, and even beliefs. In fact, most of what we do is from suggestion. Try this: the next time you're out watch how much people copy each other. Reach for your drink and your mate will reach for theirs too. Yawn and you'll trigger a yawn in your friends. Beat a top ten school and all your buddies will go and beat some too.

The power of suggestion is really the power of example. There is tremendous strength in seeing something done before your eyes. The challenge transitions from theory to practice. After it's done there is no more discussion about it's possibilities. And everyone will start to say, "If he can do it, I can do it."

Appalachian State opened the door to a belief in the minds of every small school in America. The headline was, "They did the impossible!" well think about that line. If it was, it's not impossible anymore. That's suggestion! That's the example. And now we're seeing the fallout.

Teams won't lie down and get run over anymore by big schools. They will fight with not only everything they got, but now everything they believe they can have.

So then top schools have to bring their "A" game every Saturday; which is proving to be too difficult. Why? They're not pros. College kids have exams, girlfriends, and futures they're thinking of. You will not get 100% every Saturday. This flaw has just never been revealed before because there was no hope.

Hope. Faith. Miracles. Evil words to atheists, scientists, and top college programs.

Monday, October 01, 2007

How A Four-Letter Word Changed Women Forever

Why do women seem to worry more about dating than men? Where does the sexual anxiety of young girls come from? And why are women never "ready" to get some one-on-one cozy time going??

The world changed the first time a woman was called a slut. Etymologists think it was first uttered in 1375. It might've come from the German schlutt, the Swedish slata, or the Dutch slodder. It could mean, a slovenly woman, a prostitute, sloppy, dirty, untidy, immoral, adulterer.

Assholes. You all had to go and mess it up for every man and woman for the rest of humanity.

Ever since the 15th century, every girl that has reached puberty has had one goal, to not be called a slut. There is no worse label that could be slapped on a girl in grade-school. They would rather be called cannibals.

Because once you get the scarlet "S" you might as well kiss your social life goodbye. You will be relegated to be friends with other immoral girls.

So the plan is to not engage in any sexual activity. No touching, kissing, or even looking at the football players from the sidelines during practice.

Problem? It's not normal to repress sexual development. No girl could do that, and none should. Another issue, the guys whose attention the chicks want are going to want to wrestle a little closer at some point.

So what's a girl to do? Do it behind closed doors. Everything's hush-hush. There's no open discussion about sexual wants or needs among any females under the age of 18. Any hint that it is something that you are looking forward to will send off a red alert to the slut police. and their itching to bring another harlot to moral justice.

Now every time we guys get close to girls we have to play by the rules. Of course we want to tango and they do too, but neither of us would dare tell each other the truth. That would just be absolutely crazy.

"Here's the deal pal, I'll pretend not to want to do anything, and you pretend you just want to hang out. We'll start off by just talking and things will get flirty. At some point we'll both know what's going to happen next. But don't let your little man get too happy! Don't say anything dumb like 'uhh, so... do you wanna f*@k' Of course I want to you idiot! But anything we say can and will be used against me in the court of looseness. Just tell me you have some new cd to show me in your room or something. Then we'll accidentally, key word there big boy, accidentally, end up on your bed. Then whatever happens next is your fault. You get it? It can't be my fault. Sluts ask for sex, ladies accept it."

"And don't go back to your little friends talking mess like, 'Yea son.. yea sunnn! I took care a dat dere.' I swear if you do, I'll make sure you never have any kids little boy. You wanna brag? Keep what we do to yourself. Keep playin it cool with your mouth shut and your fly open and every girl in the school will be glad to give you some. Then when we have a reunion ten years later and you see the that the big jock married the head cheerleader, you can tell your little friends, 'They didn't the call her the Head cheerleader for nothin."

Us guys don't understand what the big deal is, but if that's the way we have to play then we'll oblige our better halves. Of course, once girls reach about 30 they realize that the whole thing was a big load of cow dung. And that the girls in the honor society and the Christ rules committee were the worst ones. They see that the whole time they were trying to make people happy they could've been enjoying life.

There is no such thing as a slut. There are just some women who are more liberated than others. If premarital sex goes against your morals, then close up shop and look for your husband. And if your morals revolve around making this life the best one possible because no one is sure what's going to happen after, than seek out every pleasure available to your senses. Eat the best foods, listen to the sweetest music, and have the best sex this side of glory.

But make your decision and stick with it. Don't be the girls that just try to eek their way through life. Not ever choosing to keep themselves pure for their husbands, or purify their husbands with themselves. Don't be the one that doesn't live for her God or her self, but just lives for people. Those women are the bottom dwellers. The woman that is immoral is the one that lies to herself. Don't prostitute your values. The adulterer is the woman that cheats on her true self.

bye for now,
seek life,
seek liberty,
and the pursuit of you,

(picture author: jeannie86 at Flickr)