Monday, October 01, 2007

How A Four-Letter Word Changed Women Forever

Why do women seem to worry more about dating than men? Where does the sexual anxiety of young girls come from? And why are women never "ready" to get some one-on-one cozy time going??

The world changed the first time a woman was called a slut. Etymologists think it was first uttered in 1375. It might've come from the German schlutt, the Swedish slata, or the Dutch slodder. It could mean, a slovenly woman, a prostitute, sloppy, dirty, untidy, immoral, adulterer.

Assholes. You all had to go and mess it up for every man and woman for the rest of humanity.

Ever since the 15th century, every girl that has reached puberty has had one goal, to not be called a slut. There is no worse label that could be slapped on a girl in grade-school. They would rather be called cannibals.

Because once you get the scarlet "S" you might as well kiss your social life goodbye. You will be relegated to be friends with other immoral girls.

So the plan is to not engage in any sexual activity. No touching, kissing, or even looking at the football players from the sidelines during practice.

Problem? It's not normal to repress sexual development. No girl could do that, and none should. Another issue, the guys whose attention the chicks want are going to want to wrestle a little closer at some point.

So what's a girl to do? Do it behind closed doors. Everything's hush-hush. There's no open discussion about sexual wants or needs among any females under the age of 18. Any hint that it is something that you are looking forward to will send off a red alert to the slut police. and their itching to bring another harlot to moral justice.

Now every time we guys get close to girls we have to play by the rules. Of course we want to tango and they do too, but neither of us would dare tell each other the truth. That would just be absolutely crazy.

"Here's the deal pal, I'll pretend not to want to do anything, and you pretend you just want to hang out. We'll start off by just talking and things will get flirty. At some point we'll both know what's going to happen next. But don't let your little man get too happy! Don't say anything dumb like 'uhh, so... do you wanna f*@k' Of course I want to you idiot! But anything we say can and will be used against me in the court of looseness. Just tell me you have some new cd to show me in your room or something. Then we'll accidentally, key word there big boy, accidentally, end up on your bed. Then whatever happens next is your fault. You get it? It can't be my fault. Sluts ask for sex, ladies accept it."

"And don't go back to your little friends talking mess like, 'Yea son.. yea sunnn! I took care a dat dere.' I swear if you do, I'll make sure you never have any kids little boy. You wanna brag? Keep what we do to yourself. Keep playin it cool with your mouth shut and your fly open and every girl in the school will be glad to give you some. Then when we have a reunion ten years later and you see the that the big jock married the head cheerleader, you can tell your little friends, 'They didn't the call her the Head cheerleader for nothin."

Us guys don't understand what the big deal is, but if that's the way we have to play then we'll oblige our better halves. Of course, once girls reach about 30 they realize that the whole thing was a big load of cow dung. And that the girls in the honor society and the Christ rules committee were the worst ones. They see that the whole time they were trying to make people happy they could've been enjoying life.

There is no such thing as a slut. There are just some women who are more liberated than others. If premarital sex goes against your morals, then close up shop and look for your husband. And if your morals revolve around making this life the best one possible because no one is sure what's going to happen after, than seek out every pleasure available to your senses. Eat the best foods, listen to the sweetest music, and have the best sex this side of glory.

But make your decision and stick with it. Don't be the girls that just try to eek their way through life. Not ever choosing to keep themselves pure for their husbands, or purify their husbands with themselves. Don't be the one that doesn't live for her God or her self, but just lives for people. Those women are the bottom dwellers. The woman that is immoral is the one that lies to herself. Don't prostitute your values. The adulterer is the woman that cheats on her true self.

bye for now,
seek life,
seek liberty,
and the pursuit of you,

(picture author: jeannie86 at Flickr)

No comments: