Saturday, January 24, 2009

Watch Fedor Tonight

Fedor Emelianko(sp?) is the devil. He's the most dominant fighter in the world. Pure-bred killer. He's from somewhere in Europe and is the most feared fighter overseas. Too bad Americans haven't really been properly introduced to him. He'll come by here soon enough.

My fear is that he'll be too old by the time we really see him fight around here. He's been at it for a long time. It'd be a shame for our audiences to just catch the tail end of this legend's skills.

Watch him tonight on Affliction.

(Good Youtube video link)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Must Joe Biden be so creepy

I'm glad no one really pays attention to Joe Biden says. He goofs, hems, haws, and screws up most of his sound bites.

But that's not the worst of it. He's so weird sometimes and it creeps the hell out of me.

Kissing Sons

I guess it's sort of okay to kiss your grown son sometimes. But that's more of a family gathering kind of thing. And even then you have to do that mafia style kiss behind the ear thing where the lips don't really touch the cheeks.

But that ain't Joe's style. He gives all his kids wet smooches in public, boy or girl, old or young. And it's kind of weird.

Touchy Feely with the Commoners

He grabs and prods well-wishers in such a creepy way. I saw video of him rubbing some lady's shoulder while he talked to her. Then he proceeded to put his hands on her face and start rubbing her cheeks. I'm sure she wanted out by that point. But then he did the uber-creepy passing of the back of the fingers across her face. Joe, step away from the poor lady!

There is a line of public decency Mr. Vice President. I think we have another Dan Quayle ready to give us laughs for four years. Cheers Joe!

It's Really Happening

Mr. President. Wow, I'm going to have to get used to calling you that, and you'll have to get used to it too. But you've made it. America is behind you. The whole world is cheering you on. The burdens of our country have been squarely placed on your shoulders. And all I can say is "Don't screwed it up buddy!"

Your pal George had the same support after 9/11, and we all know how that turned out.

I'm not saying to make decision based on making everyone happy; sometimes people hate you because your decisions are tough, and sometimes your ideas just suck--I hope you can tell the difference.

Best of the year Series

The number Four Book of the Year:

Free Lunch, David Kay Johnston.

This book pissed me off, and I guess that was the point. So much of our money gets wasted, misspent, and just plain stolen from the national treasury.

Johnston researched the way pro-sports owners take money to build their stadiums on our dime. How favor from Washington can mask, and sometimes award destructive behavior that threatens the lives of innocents.

The things that this book talks about is the reason why people feel that capitalism needs to be reined in. Law enforcement can't control the corruption. It goes too deep. So liberals conclude that we must regulate. I know we all hate when the liberals are right, but how can we argue against that one?

Our country is being destroyed by the marriage between Washington and Wall Street. I don't trust them. None of us do.

(Link to talk with Bill Moyers here)

Honey, You're going out in that?

Who dressed Michelle Obama? Every other important woman looked the part, she looked like a dull mustard nightmare.

I'm not a fashion whiz, but I think I know what ugly looks like.

If I was Barack, I'd say, Uh, no... you're not going out in that. I'm not getting sworn in to office standing next to Big Bird. So why don't you peck your tall ass upstairs and put on something nice.

You know its bad when your ten-year old looks more presidential than you do.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Best of Last Year Series

I saw some great movies and read some good books last year. I'll spread them out over the next few posts until I get to number one.

Fifth place.

War and Decision, Douglas Feith.

Caution: you'll look at the war differently after reading this book. So if you don't want your beliefs challenged, stay away!

I've heard much of the left-wing's take on Iraq, but this was the first time I heard from someone inside the Pentagon. Doug Feith worked with the White House to make policy on Iraq. War and Decision shook up most of what I believed about the war.

It's harder to blame Bush for everything after realizing how complex the problems were. Feith shows patiently, and clearly how the democrats are wrong for saying that the neo-cons were hell-bent on war, and lied to the country to get their evil plan in place.

(Link to Booktv conversation)

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

How well do you know Doug?

I wrote a Doug Quiz. Take it and see how you measure up with the rest of the Quail Freaks.
Ultimate Nickelodeon's Doug Quiz(Easy)

Here's the hard one I wrote. (No one but Joel is advised to take this one.) Ultimate Nickelodeon's Doug Quiz (Hard)

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Yall Listen Up, the Yall Brigade's on the March!

As those close to me have probably realized by now, I've been studying phonology, linguistics, and the history of the English language like a mad-man lately.

I feel like I'm getting close to really understanding the language. I now know that periods and commas were first written for people who couldn't read, and why Bono didn't get in trouble for saying "fucking brilliant" on national television (hint: it's an adverb in that phrase), and that if someone asked me how to pronounce the word "cute," I could explain it in nerdiest way: produce an unvoiced velar stop followed by a voiced palatal glide modified by a high, back vowel formed dipthong, and end with an unvoiced alveolar stop).

But that's child's play compared to the great battle that I've been apprised of. As everyone knows, English doesn't have a marked plural second-person form. Okay, well maybe not everyone knows it by name. But when I wrote "yall" in the title, I exposed the apparent flaw.

There's no word for "you" (plural). So what's a nation to do? Well in the East they say "you guys," in the South it's "yall," the Deep Southerners say "yous," and in Pittsburgh it's "yuns."

Now there's no way I'm going to live in a country that says "yous" or "yuns." So they're both out the door. "You guys" and "you all" don't fill the need for one word; which leaves us with "yall." So sleak and slender, it encompasses everything we need the second-person plural form to do.

So I'm asking everyone to sign up for the Yall Brigade (cue the patriotic music). We are a force of savvy speakers aiming to establish yall as the crown contraction for plural forms. Your mission is simple, use "yall" every chance you get. Spread the wisdom and joy of this glorious key to furthering literary clarity. Our cause is simple, yet vitally important. And one day, when the annals of our history are being written, we can stand triumphantly and declare that when we saw a need, we didn't hesitate, we filled the gap and changed the you form forever! Do it for me. Do it for yourself. Do it for posterity, yall!