Friday, July 28, 2006

Come To Work You Spoiled Brat

So you're running a sucessful film company. You started filming your latest blockbuster, and everyone's showing up to work as usual... except for one. But her peeps say it's not her fault, "It's the heat." Yeah right! But you give her the benefit of the doubt-- until you find out the "heat" has been coming from a pool party at Jeremy Piven's house. So what do you do? Ream her ass out!

The Passion Fruit Alize of the Christ

Hot off the presses: Hollywood actor, producer, and Christian role-model, Mel Gibson was arrested last night charged with driving under the influence. I was gonna throw in a "spirit" of God joke, but that would be low. Almost as low as his godly credibility. But let me not judge, lest I be pulled over after my next Beer Pong Championship win. story

Hey Sexy

Good morning free thinkers! Yes, I'm up at 8:00 in the morning! I'm feeling responsible and I'm determined to find a job today. Okay let's start your morning with a pop quiz. Who is the most UNIQUE act in popular music now?

Okay give up? I'll give you a hint: what do you get when you mix six hot* girls, a burlesque show, and Pop-R&B music?? The Pussycat Dolls! You're so smart!

Whoever thought up the idea to transition the popular dance act to an R&B group must have elephant cojones. This seemed like the dumbest thing in the world. But they did it. Jimmy Iovine at Interscope gets the props for throwing this one together. PCD have released their first album and their FOURTH Top-20 single, "Buttons." The video is hot. It is catchy as hell, sexy, mediocrely sung, and slickly choreographed (read: the perfect pop song).

Interesting note: the girls have TERRIBLE contracts for the long term. According to Interscope lawyer, Darryl Franklin, they are salaried employees of Interscope records. WTF!? Meaning the record company owns EVERY aspect PCD's existence: all music sales, merchandising, web sites, or any other form of income they produce. Proving that record co.'s still know how to make money, and that new groups still know how to get screwed.

One last thing, Interscope teamed up with Hasbro trying to release PCD dolls reportedly aimed at six-to-nine year-olds. Great! That's what we need, fourth graders doing burlesque shows on the jungle gym at recess. Thank Lord Xenu the groups "Dads and Daughters" and the "Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood" successfully lobbied the company to scrap the plan. Nice try boys.

PCD's newest video - Buttons

* blogger does not guarantee group members' hotness

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Say It Ain't So

Lance Bass is gay!? The band member of 'N Sync, says he's gay and in a "very stable" relationship with a reality show star. Geez, talk about coming out of left field. I'm surprised... nay shocked! Sorry ladies, this hunk of pop loving is only for dudes. It's never the ones you expect.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

When Jockeys Attack

Leave the damn horse alone. video

Scare Tactics: Japanese Style

I thought American prank shows were heartless when it came to how far they'd go to entertain us. We have a long ways to go.

Fire Crotch

Why haven't I ever seen this piece of video gold. I know I'm the last human on earth to see it, but it's well worth a second look if you saw it already. A video of Brandon davis, spoiled heir of an oil fortune, ragging on LiLo. "Lindsay Lohan has a fire crotch. She has freckles coming out of her p***y." HAHAHA

Monday, July 24, 2006

What A Piece Of Ass: Miss Universe Edition

The Miss Universe Pageant aired last night. I didn't watch it, but the chicks seem pretty damn hot. Miss Puerto Rico, Zuleyka Rivera, won the coveted crown. Miss Japan, Kurara Chibana, was the first runner-up and will assume the duties should anything befall winner. Like a terrible illness or unfortunate Taco Bell binge.

The Donald creeping out Miss Puerto Rico

Here are some of the cuties that I thought stood out--with the hottest of the lot, Miss USA, at the bottom:

















St. Lucia

St. Martin




Puerto Rico


Slovak Republic

Miss USA - Jesus Christ she's beautiful!

Who do you think is the hottest?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Get Off Bolton's Nuts

It's comforting to finally hear someone making sense of what's going on in the latest Arab-Israeli conflict. A lot of people think John Bolton is crap. The problem is they came to that conclusion as soon as they heard Bush was appointing him as ambassador to the U.N. I don't think there was enough basis for hatin on him.

Listen to this news conference where he plainly lays out the problem with getting a cease-fire. He gets much respect from me for he way he handled a tough a question.

Watch the whole thing if you can, but if you're feeling lazy, the part I'm talking about starts at 4:14 and ends at 6:25. Well good sh_t.

John Bolton U.N. news conference - July 20, 2006

(editor's note: I don't know how long the link will last, but it should be fine for at least a week.)

United Nations - English Homepage

Saturday, July 15, 2006

We Got Talent, People!

Cool videos from America's Got Talent:

I just LOVE Brandy's face when this act switches up. The guys' reactions are priceless. I've never seen any of them hit the buzzer as hard as she did. And the guys start guarding their buzzers with their lives! LOL

Awesome ventriloquist. The British guy tries to hate on him, but he pulled it off.

What do you get when 4 Asian guys get lost in Harlem: Noe presenting At Last!

He looks like a fairy. He dresses like a fairy. But he's actually really good.

Double U... Tee... EhFFF!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Oprah is an Idiot...Maybe

I feel for you women who are loyalists of the Oprah revolution. There is so much bad information on her show. I DVR'd her show for a week to see what all the hoopla was about. One show that stood out was one of the five-part series The Debt Diet.

The "debt coaches" came into these people's houses and overblew everything that the family bought. One coach went through the teenage daughters closet and frowned at the 20 pairs of jeans, 70 pairs of shirts, and 25 pairs of bras. Total estimated cost: $2500. She said the family could save by eliminating wastes like that. The problem with that assessment: SHE WOULD HAVE NO CLOTHES!

Yes that's a lot of clothes, but what girl do you know doesn't have a closet full of stuff. And that's $2500 over how long? She must have stuff in there from at least three years ago. At least! And the parents make a combined income of $100,000 a year. So that's $300,000 coming in and $2500 for the daughters closet? I'm willing to spend 0.8% of my income on my kid's clothes. Totally overblown.

The guru then went into the mom's workshop and saw that she had $2,000 worth of scrapbook making supplies. And said that a few car payments could be made by eliminating the supplies. The problem with that: that's her HOBBY-- it's what she loves to do! Hobbies are what give our crappy lives a little worth. Everyone should have something that they put their extra money towards. It won't make sense to the guru, but it's meaningful to her. The coach told her she should sell it and pay off one of her bills.

Any adult with half a brain knows that you could save money by not buying anything. You can eat in every night, and have one pair of jeans, and two t-shirts from Wal-Mart. Go ahead and cancel the cable, and never go to mall again. Switch to dial-up, and pay bills all day long. And guess what: you'll be DEBT-FREE! But I forgot to mention your life will SUCK! But don't fret, all your bills will be paid!! You will have 8,000 more dollars in your bank account at the end of the year. Then you can pay MORE bills!

And what is with the crap about trashing the zero money down deals. Her "money professionals" said, "The catch is if you don't keep up with the payments they will charge you for all the interest you saved from the beginning." Oprah then says, "WOW, I never knew that. I knew it was too good to be true."

So let me get this right, a company goes out on a limb and gives you an unbelievable deal with NO INTEREST. All they ask is that you don't be a dead beat and to pay your bills on time. And if you don't , the only penalty they hit you with is to pay the NORMAL interest that you would have with any other loan. And that's a scam?? Pay your damn bills and you can get good deals you piece of sh_t!

Look, Oprah probably knows this advice isn't that good. But it's provocative. It will keep the ratings up. She can have teasers for her episodes like, "Find out the secrets the credit card companies DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!" And, "How to find thousands of dollars in YOUR CLOSET!" Bullocks! All bullocks!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Why it's hard for Americans to get into futbol

People take it to way too damn seriously. BBC News has reported that Berlin's top World Cup official has died four days after shooting himself in the head just hours after the final game. story

Could you imagine David Stern blowing his brains out after the NBA Finals. HAHA No way! This kind of thing is way out of the American frame of mind. Look, I know people love soccer, but come on, what kind of pressure is the international community putting on the sport that an official would do such a thing.

Furthermore, this is not an isolated incident. Soccer has a long and dark history of violence on and off the field. I don't think we're ready to join a sport filled with so many psychos. Ron Artest is enough of a handful for now.

What's Goin On: Mid-East and N. Korea

Events are happening around the world that you need to know about. You say you don't have enough time watch the news. So I will give you a 90 second cram of what you need to know in a post I call: What's Goin On.

Israel vs. Hezbollah

Hezbollah kidnapped an Israeli soldier asking for Arab prisoners to be released in exchange. Israel says eat me and starts bombing Lebanese air bases. Lebanon says why are you bombing us, it is the guerilla fighters who messed with you. Current score: Israel- 8 dead, Lebanon- 47 dead. Two paths the future can take: First, Israel stops bombing air bases and everyone goes back to just killing one-on-one. Two, Lebanon positions it's military on the border. Which will suck the U.S. in. Which will suck Syria and Iran in to back up Lebanon. Which will suck for everyone.


How about some good news from Iraq. The province of Muthanna has been given sole authority of its security. The first of its kind. Soon Iraqi forces will oversee all security in the country. the problem with that?-- time for the bad news. Civil war! We think the sectarian violence is bad now. When we leave they will tear each others heads off.

North Korea

North Korean leader Kim Jong Il

We do not want to pick a fight right now. So we are going to play the diplomacy game. We hope China, Japan, The EU, and the other major nations pressure the North Koreans to chill out.

Monday, July 10, 2006

What A Piece Of Ass: Jessica Simpson Birthday Edition

In honor of J. Simp's birthday today, I have a special BIRTHDAY edition of "What A Piece OF Ass!" Through the years, Jess has blessed us time and time again with fantastic pictures to druel over. So let's take a trip down mammary lane and enjoy all the great times we've had.

Glammed Up

Casually Sexy


Doing what she does best: opening her mouth wider than anyone

Don't worry about it, you look great


Wonderfully single

God Bless America