Monday, November 20, 2006

Gym Musings

I've been doing great going to the gym lately. And when I go I notice a lot of stuff. Some good, some bad; but always interesting (of course).

Guys Staring

We all know guys gawk at girls. They've even done studies on it. story But it's multiplied at gyms. Guys stare at EVERYTHING with a pulse. Fat, skinny, tall, short, black, white, green, crippled, everything! They even stare at me. Yes. Not in a gay way or anything; they just stare. It's a blank look. I bet if you hooked their brains up to a cat scan you would see nothing lighting up as they stare around the room. "I see people. People all around me. Look at the people." And forget about when a chick is in decent shape. They will find machines near them and stare until the girl can't ignore them anymore and move to another machine or just give up and leave. Some days when they watch me walk in and head towards the pull-up bars, I want to stop and ask them why the hell are their eyes glued to me. You start think you forgot to put your shorts on, again.

The Music

I forgot my iPod the other day and had to listen to the gym PA musak feed. Who the hell is picking the music at gyms! It was the gayest crap I have ever heard in my life. It was like one long Queer Eye intro. The whole time working out I kept thinking about how my drapes don't match my bed spread. It's the worst techno that you have ever heard. Moral of the story: don't forget your music.

Slow Progress

I know I'm supposed to be patient but, I haven't seen one lick of progress since I've started 3 months ago. I actually got pissed when I saw a guy doing dumbbell bench presses with 100lb weights in each hand. Was I pissed that he could do it and the best I could do were 40 pounders? Nope. I was pissed that he almost looked exactly like me! So you mean to tell me after I bust my ass and workout for a year and can do the heavy weights I'm gonna look like that scrawny bastard. What the hell did I sign up for!? Anybody got some HGH I could shoot into my ass? And everyone always says, "Well you'll be happy when you're forty and start to fill out and everyone else will be fat." Yeah, but now I'm skinnier than an eleven year-old girl scout! My future possible looks won't have any bargaining power with bunnies now. "Baby, there may not be much now, but you'll be glad you stuck with me in twenty years when I fill out."

All in all, you get used to working out and start to feel weird when you don't. So I'll stay faithful. Thin and faithful, PR in a nutshell. A long, skinny nutshell.

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